Friday, October 19, 2012

The Accident

    
The Accident

Zoom! Whoosh! Slam! In the overpopulated city all you could hear were the cars and trucks and their radios. A man called Robert was driving along the crowded road. His workmates called him Robert the Hobbit because he was short, had hairy feet, and ate like a pig but never seemed to get fat. Meanwhile, there was a tow truck being driven by a huge man called Bevin. In the passenger seat there was a guy called Kevin.

Little did they know, but an old, coulorblind, half deaf, old man had mistaken a red light for a green one. His name was Evan. He was crossing the road just around the corner from Robert.

Meanwhile, Bevan and Kevin were zooming along a little bit too close to Robert’s car. They rounded the corner and saw Evan. Robert started swerving until he finally screeched to a stop. Bevan and Kevin crashed into the back of Robert’s car. Oblivious to all this, Evan crossed the road safely.

Robert and Bevan shouted at each other but at least they were still alive. Kevin slipped into a building to go shopping and Evan just walked away. Robert and Bevan went to a car shop, stole a car each, and drove away never to see each other again.

By Brendan Gillespie


6 comments:

  1. I liked your story Brendan. I like the nickname Robit the Hobbit.

    Samuel

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  2. Excellent story Brendan. Using onomatopoeia at the start was a great way to introduce the action in the story. it was very engaging!

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  3. nice story you fegtive lange in your story.
    by jamie brickland.

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  4. nice story brendan.i liked the way you put the onamatopoeias at the start of the story.i also liked the name robit the hobbit,good story and keep it up!brianna

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  5. Nice story Brendan. It was funny because the character that you chose were also funny. Why did they crash into each other. From Ryan in San Diego

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    Replies
    1. They crashed because when Robert hit the breaks Bevin crashed into the back of his car -Brendan

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